Five Types of Guys Found on Dating Sites

Today’s dating scene has women wanting Iyanla to fix their dating lives. Dating in 2013 is challenging, to say the least. The available selection of guys in today’s dating pool has many women longing to rekindle past relationships that didn’t work out for one reason or another. Women often find themselves wondering if they’d just take their ex’s back, they could fix that “little” deal-breaker that caused them to leave him in the first place; rather than to take a gamble on new men they meet.

I’ve never thought twice about the widely known stats that available women outnumber the available men. “Available” doesn’t mean viable, and “single” doesn’t necessarily mean available. The very fact that he is even unattached, many times translates to a man who most selective women don’t want. I’ve also found that often-times, the “good” single men are bitter and aren’t interested in settling down again. They are aware that they are in demand, which means that they are taking their sweet time thoroughly interviewing women for their open positions.
Women are finding themselves making revisions to their “must-have lists” and otherwise compromising their standards to have a man in their lives. Some are even settling for that dreaded “piece of man”. Cougars are dating men 15-20 years their junior. Sugar Daddies have been replaced by Sugar Mommas. Some women are opting to date losers who refuse to work, letting them drop her off at work and keep her car all day. These types of guys become her dependent, like one of her children. Lastly, God-forbid, many women are (knowingly) sharing men.

Online dating is another gamble that many women are taking, only to find it a waste of time and sometimes money. Although this vehicle no longer carries the stigma that it once did, it remains filled with undesirables. Through conversing with single women who have tried their hand at online dating, I have compiled a list of the five different types of men they’ve met.

1. Under-sexed Ulysses
This guy is pressed for it, so much so that he blows it before he can even get his foot in the door. Not unlike a minute man, Ulysses climaxes as soon as his penis feels the heat of a vagina. Ulysses is overly anxious. He asks women to submit their boudoir pics to him before he even asks their name. This guy is oblivious to the fact that this approach doesn’t work on grown-ass women because until he came across their profile, his requests were being met by skanks who happily obliged him. Ulysses: “Hay sexii, I kno u look gud but I cant see wat u look lik. Send me pic of dat BoDy.” Selective Woman: ***DELETE***

2. Gun-shy George
George is recently divorced or fresh out of a long-term relationship, a relationship where he gave his all to the wrong woman. She cheated on him or otherwise damaged his manhood. Now he’s afraid to commit. He’s conflicted though because before he married HER, he had grand ideas of being a doting husband. She’s hated because she’s blown it for all other women. She messed up a perfectly good man, YOUR man! George keeps women drawn in because deep down inside, he knows that he truly wants a good woman. So he gives the good woman just a little hope to keep her coming back each time she’s made up her mind that she was DONE!

3. Overly-Confident Oliver
Oliver ain’t shit…but he’s fine as hell! He has the body of a Greek god and has several women dickmatized. He’s so smooth and so slick that he’ll trap a woman who knows full well that she’s signing up to be part of his harem. She already knows that she’ll have to get in line on holidays but the sex promises to be the bomb, so she signs up anyway.

4. Sam the Snail
This type of man says that he longs to be in a relationship but you’ll soon find out that he’d rather talk about it than be about it. Sam has perfected being a loner and as bad as she’d like him to, he just doesn’t give her the time to catch him or show him what she’s working with. He’s a great man and looks GOOD on paper but that’s as far as it goes. He keeps promising that he’ll call and plan a date but he never does. Work, hobbies, education, social groups and various other “somethings” have taken the place of his desire to be in a relationship. She exhausts every trick in her bag of feminine wiles to capture his attention, to no avail.

5. Perfect Patrick
Patrick is definitely few and far between. A rarity. You’ve heard stories of Patrick, but finding him is not easy. Patrick, like Boaz, is God-sent. He’s the perfect mate…attentive, honest, articulate, communicative, supportive, loving, considerate, sexy, affectionate, kind, and an awesome provider. If you are so lucky to be found by Patrick, you know that you are truly one of God’s anointed-blessed-and-highly favored daughters.

I wish it weren’t so complicated. I wish that every woman who desires a committed relationship could have one. It would be nice if it were as easy as sitting next to him on a church pew; or bumping into him at the grocery store. Instead, it seems like a game that’s harder to figure out than the next level of Candy Crush Saga.


Posted on September 18, 2013, in Dating and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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